He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
