imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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