JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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