so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize