I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
