can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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