is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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