I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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