We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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