Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
