Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
