You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
