I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
