Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
