yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
