I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
