Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
