I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
