She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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