hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
