Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Everyone says I win the strip club
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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