Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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