I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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