the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
