just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
