Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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