We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
