I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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