i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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