she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
