im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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