So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
