loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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