I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
