Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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