It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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