Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just gift wrapped bread.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
