Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
