there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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