I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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