I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
