OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think my fart just growled at me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
