he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
