UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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