We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
