How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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