oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
