O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
