is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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