theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
