Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
