You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it glows. i had to have it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
