If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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