im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
