I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
God, I missed his penis.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
