If i come over, it means nothing
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
