Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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