You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
