I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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